Sunday, August 05, 2012

Moved in and Settled

The move went well, Aside from me having to do all the loading and unloading by myself. Logan did help a bit but someone with a bit more strength would have been better.

We're slowly getting to know our way around London. Walking downtown sucks, but we had to do that 3 times. Thankfully we don't need to go there until next month and by then we should have a nice stockpile of bus tickets.

We haven't talked to my mother in a couple of months and, sadly, it has nothing to do with the move.

Kingston was just too damned expensive to live in. We had to sell a lot of stuff just to try and keep our heads above water. I sold all my paintball gear, my PS3 and some other things. Carrie sold off her DVDs, her wedding ring (Can't sell mine, it's titanium) and some other jewellery. It still wasn't enough. All we had left was Logan's PS3. We sold it after we sent out furniture back to the rent to own place.

Logan was understandably sad about losing his game but he understood why. At the same time he was having other problems he was at school(fights, emotional outbursts, saying he was going to hurt/kill himself). He was a mess.

We'd been looking into helping him before we had to sell our stuff. When he kicked another boy in the balls we knew something wasn't right, so we made an appointment with Pathways. They deal with children's mental health issues. Between them and a psychiatrist at the hospital it was determined Logan has ADD.

Now, when we explained this on Facebook, my "wonderful" mother went on and told us we we horrible parents, it was all our fault and since we obviously couldn't provide for Logan we should give him up for adoption. We should sign him over to the older sister because she and her husband have a much more stable life.

Yes, really.

Not one word of support. Just condemnation.

When I called her, I was angry. Seems like a normal reaction to me. Her response was that I was the reason Logan was suicidal and I wouldn't be this upset if it wasn't true.

Am I the only one that sees the failure of that logic? Then she hangs up because she's "too upset to talk".

So I sent off an email pointing out how we, as Logan's parents have done everything right. That this wasn't just my opinion, but the opinions of family doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, Children's aid, Scout Leaders, teachers and others.

I asked her to explain why she thinks she's a good parent when she's made far worse choices than us selling a game system. Keeping us kids in a house with a drug abusing alcoholic was the least of her mistakes. I'd bring up the big one but that's for my youngest sister to bring up.

I told her that if she's a "good" parent then I'm glad I'm so bad. Told her to take me out of the will and that we want nothing to do with her. Ever.

Now....

I'm still fine with not talking to her. At this point, if she were to drop dead I wouldn't bother going to the funeral.

Carrie and Logan on the other hand seem to be missing her a bit.

Which is the better way to suffer: Have mom in our lives to continue her passive/aggressive bullshit or let my wife and son have a hole in their lives?

What I'd like is for her to realize what a bitch she's been, that she has no right to judge me as a parent. I want her to apologize first.

Growing up I was always made to say I was sorry, even for things I didn't do, simply because I was the oldest. I just cannot apologize for this.

I doubt she'll read this and even if she does it's even less likely she'll say she's sorry. She has my emails, she can leave a comment here. But I doubt it.