Am I a monster?

Well, 9/11 has come and gone again and I live in no more fear now than I did 3 years ago. Does that make me an uncaring bastard? Maybe. Does that bother me? No. Has mass media desensitized me? Most likely.
In September of 2001, I was going in for my first test after my first week of on the job training. Someone in the calls had said something about "they're blowing up the World trade Center." I had assumed he was talking about an up coming movie, or, maybe some future urban renewal project.
Seeing it on TV, I was shocked by the loss and devastation. Yet on some level I think I found beauty in it. The same goes for the Challenger and Columbia shuttle disasters.
Am I a monster?
I relish the power and beauty of disaster. I empathize with the loss of life, but that's about it. Weather it's a natural disaster, or one bred of human arrogance, or wrought be an evil mind, I know and understand the purpose behind it.
No, I'm not talking about God's overall plan for us. I know it's merely a reminder.
Every once in a while we, as humans, forget we're just small animals on the planet. Civilizations have collapsed because they've thought themselves better, bigger, stronger than nature. We try to force the Universe to conform to our needs. The Universe has the power to thow us a curveball every time.

Ok. Enough diatribe.

I'm bored. So today I went to the mall seeing as they were having a job fair. What a waste of time. The fair was only for the stores to recruit Christmas rush staff. Of the 10 stores looking, there were only 4 that I'd be able to work at, and only 2 I'd care to work at. They now have my resumes. Actually they have 6 copies of my resume to date. The only other place I dropped a resume off at was a massage studio. I should hear back from them by the end of the week.