I need a life....

It's been 15 days since my last entry. Goes to show how much has happened with us.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day here in Canada, and we aren't doing a damned thing. Hell, we can't even afford a turkey and with my "step dad" Jim out of town, my mother cancelled dinner.

News...News.....News....Hm. None really. Schools been going well for Logan. He had his first field trip on October 6. His class went to the grocery store and library. They got free cookies for the class as a snack.

Carrie's got pink eye. We figure it's because of Logan. He poked her in the eye a few days ago while she was sleeping on the couch. We don't know what he used, but it must have been dirty. How else would she have gotten an infection? We haven't been to a public pool in about 2 months, and no-one else we know has it.

Me? Still waiting for the fucking army to call. If they don't I don't know what to do. What I'd like to do is get into paintball. I know I don't have the money to open an indoor field. I'd LOVE to do that, but I'd need at least 4 acres of land, buildings, and all the fixin's to make it livable. I'd be happy to become an airsmith.
I could do it as a home based business. All I need is a work table, bright light, and someplace to test fire the paintball markers (guns). Repairing, modifying and upgrading them.

It'd be nice to have some kind of family support for my paintball enthusiasm. Not that it matters. It doesn't seem to make any difference what I want to do. What ever I mention to my mother is "a bad idea". She thinks I should become an ambulance attendant. That is something I really don't want to do. I know Belleville isn't like Toronto where I'd be scraping people off the streets on a daily basis. I just don't want to deal with that kind of stress, being responsible for someone dying. I don't care that they die, that's part of life. But Belleville is small enough that I'd run into other family members that would blame me. It's not worth the stress.

I thought about going south for a few weeks to learn how to build mountain bikes. Design and weld the frames. Again that would be shot down by my mother.

Yeah I know I shouldn't give a shit what she thinks. But I feel like I've never really done anything to make her proud of me. She says I have, but I sure don't feel like it.

Sometimes I think the only way she'd be proud of me is if I were to die.